well, I won't lie to you.
coming up the mountain today was familiar, though no less difficult. and isn't that the way? if something is foreign, it's difficult because it's new. if something is similar, it's difficult because it's changed. and if something is familiar- well, i'm finding out that this opens up a new realm of theoretical baggage to attend to.
the word that rocks around in my mind- supposed.
this isn't supposed to be like this, or this thing is supposed to be different.
am i supposed to be here?
I'm not supposed to feel like this, and so on and so forth.
it's a futile phrase if you ask me. all it does is stir up jars of fret and frenzy. panic and regret.
so in this lenten reflection, the first day of Lent, I don't have much for you. I don't know if i'm supposed to be here, just that I am.
And Haiti, is what my dad told me over a game of ping pong last week.
Haiti is the third world. and it feels pointless because it is the third world. there's just THAT much going wrong, doing any amount of right, well, it just doesn't add up.
But this morning I walked downstairs and was greeted by no less than 15 hugs.
And that, well, it adds up to a whole lot of 'supposed tos'
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